To raise more emotionally intelligent kids, parents need to speak to them in emotionally intelligent ways.
As a neuropsychologist, I teach people communication styles that promote connection and independence, both of which are vital if you want to have strong, healthy and empathetic relationships.
Here are three phrases that parents of emotionally intelligent kids never use — and what to say instead:
1. “Why can’t you be more motivated?”
The brain is wired to excel when and where it can. So when children struggle, it’s not because they don’t want to do well — it’s because they simply can’t.
In other words, the issue isn’t their motivation. It’s that there is a disconnect between your expectations as a parent and their capabilities.
What to say instead: The emotionally intelligent response is to be curious about where your child’s motivation and abilities intersect.
Let’s say your kid is spending too much time playing video games and too little on reading.
